...apologies...

Good day!  ...NO BABY A/WOLFIE YET!!!...


Okay, so I was just reading my good friend's blog on apologizing, check her out!!  ;-)  And it made me think of a few instances where I wanted some friends from my past to feel my hurt.  Feel the pain that they caused me.  I don't know... Well, no, I take that back.  I do know.  I'm very stubborn.  Sometimes I think that it's "my way or the highway..."  "either you're with me or against me!!" 


One situation, I thought my "friend" was inappropriate when talking to someone who I considered "more than a friend"... if you know what I mean.  I told her how I felt and continued to be her friend.  But then she did it again with someone else.  I talked to her about the situation, and told her that if she thinks she's going to be "friends" with that person and me, she has another thing coming.  She said she would rather be "friends" with that person than with me, so that ended our friendship.  I don't know maybe I was being petty, she tried to call me out on a situation that she thought was similar, but I wasn't feeling it.  So, that friendship was gone. 


Another situation, a few that I considered my "friends" were holding back valuable information to me.  You know how some say if you don't tell the whole truth you are lying... well, I had to do some Inspector Gadget type of stuff in order to get the information that I needed.  It was very unfortunate, because like I said I thought that we all were friends... we all grew up together, and they all knew my feelings.  They thought that because years had passed that I wouldn't feel any type of hurt.  But nope... it still hurt... like hell!  It was probably better for me to learn about all of what was going on, on my own, because I was able to handle the situation how I wanted to and at the speed that I wanted to.  I was called petty and childish after the fact, but I think if the situation was turned around... you know walk a mile in my shoes... then they probably would've felt where I was coming from. 


Most recently I had a situation where I was lied to repeatedly.  I'm still working on this one.  It's hard.  Because we are too close.  I don't even like thinking about it.  It's still very unbelievable to me.  But I do know that because of it, it's affected our relationship. 


I know a lot of people don't like horoscopes, but a few characteristics of mine are sensitive, loyal, ...oh em gee... I just found this, and this couldn't be more truer (true - er lmbooo!!)  "But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive."


It's hard, I'm still a work in progress.  I'm going to get this book "The Five Languages of Apology" by Gary Chapman.  Seems like it's a really good read.  Ohhh, that'll be something for me to do when I'm at home caring for my sweet little Wolfie!  ;-) 


Tam I hope you don't mind me putting you out there like that... but you inspired me!  ;-)  Thanks!