...hard...

Idont know who told this site to change!!! I just had a hard time getting to the "new post" spot... So, Ive been having a hard time as of lately. I dont know what my problem is... Take that back, I do! I have a problem with overthinking, wanting things to be "perfect", and lack of sleep! Some things have been out of my control recently and its driving me bananas! (sn: whenever I spell bannas, I sing it like Im Gwen Stefani!!)I try not to be a worry wart (is it a wart or a ward??)... So it makes me look like a Dr. Jerkyl/Mr. Hyde!! Told one of my friends I felt a little bipolarish... He didnt like that! I know Im lashing out on the wrong people, and for that Im sorry. I dont remember feeling like this with Stabs... I dont know why its so hard now. 2 kids under the age of 5? Being back home? Wanting things to be my way? Not going to church & feeling lost? Either way, please pray for me. Im prayin, but it isnt working. I dont want to be crazy!! I havent talked to anyone about this, about how Im feeling. I tried to talk to my dude, but I just get overly emotional! There it is... I was overly emotional before, so now its been increased to a whole new level. On the flip side, Im looking at my beautiful baby and Im amazed at her progress. I think shes ready to crawl, shes strong enough and moves all over the place. Then theres my sweet big girl... Shes so understanding of her mommies craziness. I love these two so much and no matter what, Im going to do my best to make their life the greatest! Mommie duty calls... Peace!