Monday, September 24, 2012

...self talk...

Awww man, it's been too long!  Last time I was here was the beginning of the month.  And now since these days seem to go by so fast, we are damn near the end of this month... my fault, I didn't mean to be missing for this long.  I was actually summonsed to blog on a particular subject.  ;-)  So in church the Pastor has been going over the subject of folks "Getting On My Nerves" #GOMN for all you twitter folks!  Yesterday I felt like he was talking directly to me!  First he said it's not good to hold things in.  HELLO!  That's so me!  But he was saying it's not good, because those emotions can fester, and when you do decide to "go off", you're going to look crazy.  Okay, so I'm sure I'm making that up, but that's what I got from it.  And unfortunately since I've had little baby Wolfie, I haven't been able to take notes like I used to.  I haven't even taken my little note book into church with me, but that's another story.  But I totally agree with not holding things in.  I'm so guilty of it, and when I do eventually say something about it, I'm bringing up all of these emotions from months ago.  "Remember that time you did ____, well I felt ___!!!"  And when you are bringing it up, the person on the other end is looking at you side ways because 9 times out of 10 they don't remember what you are talking about.  Pastor also said to Reflect Before You React.  Okay, this is for the other 99.9% of the world... the ones that are the total opposite of me.  They don't hold nothing in, they pop off right then and there!  LOL!  I've seen this person!  Yikes!!  is all I gotta say about them.  Deep down inside I wish I was that confident to do that.  One of my co-workers said she things it's better to get things off your chest right away.  I don't know.  I want to find a balance of the two.  The take away for the service was to "go HARD on the problem, and go SOFT on the person".  I tried sooo hard to let that sink in.  But because I'm so stubborn, I just couldn't.  Okay, so you all know that I've been going thru certain situations that I've talked about here and another on here.  Well, with both circumstances, I tried to think of going hard on the problem and not the person.  I just couldn't.  I couldn't wrap my mind around that.  YEARS ago, I was #coldblooded!  Hahahaha!!  But seriously, if I felt someone did me wrong, I would cut off all ties to that person.  They didn't exist in my world anymore.  I've been so tempted to do that recently, but it's a little harder now.  All I can do is pray for the best in both situations.  I guess.  I don't want to play "victim", but seriously, if you feel like someone has done you wrong, how do you get over it?  Time... time helps.  Since I haven't talked to one of my old friends in over 3 years, I sometimes miss her.  But then I think about the situation, and I'm like "nah, eff that!!!"  LOL LOL!  I recently (like within the last 2 months) sent her an email, and to my surprise she emailed me back and we were able to "keep it cordial".  Granted, we aren't "friends" anymore, but at least I know that if I were to see her out in public, we can at least speak.  You know what I'm talking about??  Okay, let me get back to this work.  I didnt' want this to go on this long, but you know how it is.  SMH!

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